he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
