actually, I'm a sock model
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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