"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
