when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
