You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
