I didn't shave. On purpose
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
