you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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