She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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