the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
