I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
