maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
