Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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