so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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