I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
