I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Enjoy the penises
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
