I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
