Are we in a gay sports bar?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
