So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
