no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
