Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
