True but thats because hes a fetus.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
