I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
