i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
