just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
