he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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