Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
