yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
