i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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