I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
