My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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