It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You took a bar mat shot.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Randomize
