dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
