HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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