I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
