lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
