I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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