What a fucking waste of an outfit
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
