i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
