he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
