nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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