I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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