You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
