And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
