we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
