It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
God, I missed his penis.
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