Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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