i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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