Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
