Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
