I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
