Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
