I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
