Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
